Fables

The Man and His Two Wives

IN the old days, when men were allowed to have many wives a middle-aged Man had one wife that was old and one that was young; each loved him very much, and desired to see him like herself. Now the Man’s hair was turning grey, which the young Wife did not like, as it made him look too old for her husband. So every night she used to comb his hair and pick out the white ones. But the elder Wife saw her husband growing grey with great pleasure, for she did not like to be mistaken for his mother. So every morning she used to arrange his hair and pick out as many of the black ones as she could. The consequence was the Man soon found himself entirely bald.

“YIELD TO ALL AND YOU WILL SOON HAVE NOTHING TO YIELD.”

Interpretations and Insights:

“The Man and His Two Wives” is a fable that offers an interesting insight into the complexities of human relationships, and highlights the consequences of trying to please everyone. It is packed with a wealth of lessons, not only about interpersonal relationships, but also about individual identity and the potential pitfalls of indecisiveness and lack of assertiveness.

The primary lesson of this fable is articulated in the concluding sentence: “YIELD TO ALL AND YOU WILL SOON HAVE NOTHING TO YIELD.” This suggests the peril of constantly acquiescing to others’ desires without considering one’s own needs or the potential consequences.

Hidden Insights:

  1. Cost of Compromise: The man loses all his hair in the attempt to satisfy both his wives, which serves as a metaphor for the damage that can be inflicted when one overextends oneself to please others at the expense of personal well-being.

  2. Self-Loss: The man allows his wives to manipulate his appearance according to their preferences, leading to his loss of identity (symbolized by his baldness). This can be interpreted as a warning against allowing others to control one’s identity.

  3. Subjectivity of Perception: The differing preferences of the two wives demonstrate how perceptions can vary based on personal experiences and perspectives. The older wife values the grey hair that signifies wisdom and maturity, while the younger wife perceives it as a sign of old age and thus undesirable.

  4. Irony of Actions: The irony is that while each wife acts with the intention of improving her husband’s appearance (and thus, in her view, his well-being), their actions lead to the exact opposite outcome.

  5. Consequences of Inaction: The man’s passivity and failure to assert his desires lead to an outcome that pleases no one, emphasizing the importance of personal assertiveness and decision-making.

  6. Misdirected Effort: Each wife invests a great deal of effort into altering her husband’s appearance to match her own preference, but their contrary actions cancel each other out, demonstrating the futility of their efforts. This underscores the idea that effort, however well-intended, can be wasted if not directed wisely.

Subtle Details:

The story uses a situation from a time when polygamy was common, which may serve to amplify the dilemma faced by the man as he navigates the conflicting desires of his wives. The man’s ultimate baldness serves as a physical symbol of the internal identity crisis he faces. The fact that the man does not express any opinion on his changing appearance leaves his personal preference a mystery, underscoring his lack of assertiveness and self-determination.

Additional Interpretations and Insights:

  1. Aesthetic Preference and Ageism: The story reveals a subtle bias toward youth and beauty in society. The younger wife wants her husband to look younger, while the older wife is pleased by his greying hair. This contrast mirrors societal attitudes toward aging and the often unrealistic expectations and pressure to maintain a youthful appearance.

  2. Failure of Communication: The man’s predicament could have been avoided with effective communication. His failure to express his own desires and set boundaries demonstrates how poor communication can lead to negative outcomes.

  3. Dependency and Autonomy: The man’s reliance on his wives to make decisions about his appearance suggests a lack of autonomy. This illustrates the importance of maintaining individuality and making independent decisions within relationships.

  4. Conformity and Individuality: The story highlights the tension between conformity (the man trying to fit into each wife’s preferences) and individuality (the man maintaining his natural appearance). This demonstrates the fine line between accommodating others and maintaining one’s unique identity.